"Computer Terms 2" joke

* BIT - A word used to describe computers, as in “Our son’s computer cost quite a bit. ”
* BOOT - What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.
* BUG - What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list.
* CHIPS - The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.
* COPY - What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying.
* CURSOR - What you turn into when you can’t get your computer to perform, as in “You $#% computer! ”
* DISK - What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip.
* DUMP - The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer.
* ERROR - What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to “just look. ”
* EXPANSION UNIT - The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.
* FILE - What your secretary can now do to her nails six and a half hours a day, now that the computer does her day’s work in 30 minutes.
* FLOPPY - The condition of a constant computer user’s stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips).
* HARDWARE - Tools, such as lawnmowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven’t laid a finger on since getting your computer.
* IBM - The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you’ll pay attention to them again.
* MENU - What you’ll never see again after buying a computer because you’ll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.
* MONITOR - Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school.
* PROGRAMS - Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it.
* RETURN - What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half.
* TERMINAL - A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.
* WINDOW - What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up.