"Contradictory Proverbs" joke

1. Look before you leap
He who hesitates is lost
2. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again
Don't beat your head against a brick wall
3. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Out of sight, out of mind
4. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today
Don't cross the bridge until you come to it
5. Two heads are better than one
Paddle your own canoe
6. More haste less speed
Time waits for no man
7. You're never too old to learn
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
8. A word to the wise is sufficient
Talk is cheap
9. It's better to be safe than sorry
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
10. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts
11. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
Nice guys finish last
12. Hitch your wagon to a star
Don't bite off more than you can chew
13. Many hands make light work
Too many cooks spoil the broth
14. Don't judge a book by its cover
Clothes make the man
15. The squeaking wheel gets the grease
Silence is golden
16. Birds of a feather flock together
Opposites attract
17. The pen is mightier than the sword
Actions speak louder than words