"Dad's Words of Wisdom" joke

A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.

Act your age.

Am I talking to a brick wall?

As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.

Big boys don't cry.

C'mon, you throw like a girl.

Coffee will stunt your growth.

Could those sleeves be any longer? You look like a bag lady!

Didn't your teacher teach you anything?!

Do what I say, not what I do.

Do you think I am made of money?

Don't ask me, ask your mother.

Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.

Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.

Don't make me stop the car!

Don't tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.

Don't use that tone with me!

Don't worry. It's only blood.

Don't you know any normal boys?

Enough is enough!

Get your elbows off the table.

"Hey" is for horses.

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?

Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.

I don't care what other people are doing! I'm not everybody elses father!

I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.

I told you, keep your eye on the ball.