"Definitions" joke

* ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
* BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women go to curl up and dye.
* CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
* CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
* COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
* DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
* EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
* GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
* HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
* INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
* MYTH: A female moth.
* MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
* RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
* SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time
* TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
* TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
* YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
* WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines