"Dictionary of Evaluation Comments" joke

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really sayingin all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/hekeeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright.EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders todate.ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPERTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks forsuperiors.INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to dothe job.A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: Acoward.SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.HAPPY: Paid too much.WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass.WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.SHOULD GO FAR: Please.USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except originalwork.USES RESOURSES WELL: Delegates everything.DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.

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