"Ding! Ding!" joke
A woman's husband has died. After a few months, she decides she wants a new one. She submits a classified ad as follows:"Widow looking for a new husband. To be considered, you must conform to these three criteria:1 - You can't beat me (as my first husband did).2 - You can't run around on me (as my first husband did).3 - You MUST be good in bed (as my first husband wasn't)."A few days later, the doorbell rings. She opens the door and a man without any arms and or legs is sitting in a wheel chair."Can I help you?" she says."I'm here about your ad in the paper.""Which ad is that?""The one looking for a husband."She says, "Uhm, well, there were certain criteria...""Yes, I know. Obviously, I could never beat you... I have no arms.""Well, yes, I see that... but there were other criteria.""And, as you can see, I could never run around on you... I have no legs.""Well, yes, that's true... but there was one other thing that is very important...""Ah, yes, well... how do you think I rang the door bell?"
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