Ding Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Taoism: shit happens.
    Hare Krishna: shit happens rama rama ding ding.
    Hinduism: this shit happened before.
    Islam: if shit happens, take a hostage.
    Zen: what is the sound of shit happening?
    Buddhism: when shit happens, is it really shit?
    Confucianism: confucius say: "shit happens".
    7th Day Adventist: shit happens on saturdays.
    Protestantism: shit won't happen if I work harder.
    Catholicism: if shit happens, I deserve it.
    Jehovah's Witness: knock, knock: "shit happens".
    Unitarian: what is shit?.
    Mormon: shit happens again & again & again
    Judaism: why does this shit always happen to me?

    There was a lady who was in bed with her lover one day, when she
    hears a noise and realizes that her husband is home early from
    work. She has no idea what to do with her lover so she sticks him
    in the closet and successfully covers up every part of his body
    except his balls. Thinking quick, she paints his balls red with
    some spray paint.
    Her husband comes up to the bedroom and opens the closet doors to
    get out some clothes and notices the red balls hanging
    there. "What are these?" he asks.

    "Oh, those are just some Christmas Bells I picked up on sale this
    afternoon," she answers.

    He toys with them for a second and realizes that they are not
    making noise, so he pulls them apart and clangs them together, but
    all he hears is "uuuggghhh".

    He says, "Honey, these things aren't working right, let me try
    again." So he pulls them farther apart and bangs them more...

    your mama is so fat that she uses a vcr as a bepper

    SHIT HAPPENS in various world religions
    ----------------------------------

    Taoism: Shit happens.
    If you can shit, it isn't shit.
    Shit happens, so flow with it.
    Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
    She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
    she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
    Please this flower and buy our shit.
    Confucianism: Confucious say, "Shit happens".
    Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
    PROPERLY."
    Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
    Shit will happen again to you next time.
    Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will
    have salvation.
    Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
    7th Day Adventism:
    Shit happens on Saturdays.
    Hinduism: I've seen this shit happening before.
    This shit is not a religion, it is the way of more...

    There was this contest if 3 guys dicks would add up to 21 inches they would win 3 million dollars.
    So Mac goes first pulls his out 10 inches
    Next was Andy pulls his out 10inches
    Last but not least was Ben pulls his out 1 inch
    Ding Ding Ding... we have winners
    so after the contest Mac said "
    if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
    Andy said "
    if it wasn't for my 10 inch penis we wouldn't of won."
    Ben goes "
    hold up guys if i wouldn't of popped a boner we wouldn't of never won!!!"

  • Recent Activity

    Winner by Anonym
    Religion by Anonym
    Ding! Ding! by Anonym
    Ding! Ding! by Anonym
    Ding! Ding! by Anonym
    Ding! Ding! by Anonym