"Disabled Swimming Contest" joke
Three guys entered a disabled swimming contest. The first had no arms, the second no legs and the third was only a head. The whistle blew and they were all in the pool.
The guy with no arms took the lead instantly, but the one with no legs was catching up quickly. The head, of course, sank right to the bottom.
Several lengths later, the guy with no legs finished first. As he looked around, he could still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decided he had better dive down to rescue him.
He dove down, picked up the head and swam back up to the surface. When he placed the head at the side of the pool, the head began coughing and sputtering.
When the head finally caught his breath, he shouted, "I've spent over three years learning how to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the whistle some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"
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