"Disgusting Music" joke
This homeless guy walks into a bar and says, "Gimme whiskey."
The bartender says, "I'll have to see your money first."
"I'm broke, sonny, but if you give me a bottle of whiskey, I'll get up on that stage and fart dixie!"
The bartender had never seen someone fart any kind of song, so he agrees. The homeless guy drinks the whole bottle of whiskey, then staggers up on stage and the audience starts applauding. Then he drops his pants and the audience starts cheering even louder. Then, he proceeds to shit all over the stage, and everyone gets disgusted and leaves.
The bartender screams, "You said you were gonna fart dixie! Not shit all over my stage!"
The guy replies, "Hey! Even Bob Dylan has to clear his throat before he sings!"
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts more...
A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked more...
*The Poopie List*
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.
CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your more...
A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they
came to a homeless person. The Republican gave the homeless person his
business card and told him to come to his business for a job. He then
took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the more...