"Downsizing" joke
A small business owner was faced with the problem of having to downsize his company. He added up all the receipts and discovered he had to fire one of his employees. He looked in his files and saw that his newest employees were Diane and Jack.
Because they had started on the same day at the same time, he wondered how he would make the decision on who to fire. Finally he decided that he would fire the first one he saw taking a break. About ten minutes later he saw Diane leaning against the wall next to the water cooler.
He walked over to her with a serious look on his face and said, "Diane, it seems as though I'm going to have to either lay you or Jack off."
Diane looked at her employer and said, "Well, you're going to have to jack off because I have a headache."
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