"Driven to Distraction" joke

- Only in America can a pizza guy get to your door faster than an ambulance.
- Why do slow-down and slow-up mean the same thing?
- Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?
- Why is it that when stuff goes on a truck it's called a shipment and on a boat it's called cargo?
- Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
- Why do we press harder on things when we know the batteries are dead?