"Drunken Battle" joke
A very modest man was in hospital undergoing a series of tests, the last of which left his bodily functions extremely upset. After making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so remained where he was. However, he suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was so embarrassed he was unable to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered the sheets and threw them out of the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital at that precise moment and the sheets landed on him. The drunk began yelling, cursing and swinging his arms violently in an attempt to free himself of the sheets which finally ended up in a tangled pile at his feet.
As he stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, approached him and asked, "What's going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down at the pile at his feet, replied, "I'm not sure, but I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."
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