"Dubya Quotes" joke

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
... George W. Bush
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
... Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
... Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
... Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
... Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
... Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and thatone word is' to be prepared'."
... Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
... Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
... Governor George W. Bush
"The future will be better tomorrow."
... Governor George W. Bush
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
... Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
... Governor George W. Bush
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
... Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
... Governor George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
... Governor George W. Bush to reporters
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican"
... Governor George W. Bush
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
... Governor George W. Bush
"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
... George W. Bush
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
... Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
... Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
... Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
... Governor George W. Bush, 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
... Governor George W. Bush
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
... Governor George W. Bush
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
... Governor George W. Bush
"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
... Governor George W. Bush