"EXCUSES GIVEN BY GUARDS AT THE EMPTY TOMB OF JESUS" joke

- "I thought he was the pizza delivery guy leaving. No wondered he smiled when I tried to give him a tip!"
- "I was putting another denarius in the chariot meter!"
- "With the earth shakin' and all the bright lights, we figured we was abducted by aliens!"
- "Since the tomb was already empty when the stone was rolled away, I'm afraid you're speaking to the wrong department. Let me give you a BR#245-A-Res form and direct you to Burial Services."
- "As we've already stated several times before, according to the legal definition of "escape," we emphatically deny any wrong doing in this matter!"
- "We was HYPNO-TIZED! Centurion Bobicus is still clucking like a chicken!"
- "You told us to secure the tomb as best as we know how (Mat. 27: 65). We did! May I suggest an assessment of our current training program?"
- "All I know is, this better not mess up my early retirement package!"
- "Hey! What'd you expect? Did you tell us we were guarding the Son of God? NOOOOOOOO!"
- "What's the big deal? He said He'd be back!"

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