"Enterprise Rent-a-Car feedback" joke

Actual feedback card:
(E) Enterprise Rent-a-Car
Comments or Questions?
Should you have any comments, questions or concerns about your rental, please contact the manager where you rented your vehicle. If after doing so, you are still in need of assistance, kindly call me at (301) 670-8649 or complete and mail the following comment card - Your thoughts are always welcome and appreciated.
Thank you,
Edward L. McCarty
President/General Manager
Your rental cars are entirely insufficient for any type of pursuit situation. Cornering in city streets at any speed over 50 miles per hour results in excessive tire slippage and near overturning.
Were it not for my superior driving ability, the irate Iranian clerk and police cruisers surely would have apprehended me. Fortunately, portions of the exhaust system fell in the cruiser's path.
Is it really to much to ask that your cars be capable of speeds over 110 miles per hour? Over my entire trip of some 1800 miles (weekend rate) I was able to coax your "Dodge Shadow" to 108 only once - and then only downhill.
Unfortunately a noxious blue cloud seems to pour forth from the auto at this speed. I hope to continue as a loyal Enterprise customer, please see to these problems _IMMEDIATELY_.
Also please add sufficient storage space for beer bottles. Empties roll about the footwells during extreme cornering, creating a _hazard_.
I do want to compliment the perky rental agent "Jen" who was very understanding - even though I could not produce my driver's license at the time. Here is a customer service agent who understands that _customers_ and not some artificial "rules" should dictate proper policy.
It is employees like Jen who endear me to Enterprise Rent-a-Car and insure my repeat business.