"Every woman should have" joke

One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to. And one who reminds you of how far you've come.
Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own, even if you never want or need to.
Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
A youth you're content to move beyond.
A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to re-telling it in your old age.
The realization that you are actually going to have an old age and some money set aside to help fund it.
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Eight matching plates, wineglasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honored.
A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
A feeling of control over your destiny.
A skin care regime, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.