"Faster Than Light" joke
An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes, he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them one question and their answer would determine who would get the job.
The day came, and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know of?" pointing to the man on his right. The first man replied, "A thought. It pops into your head. There's no fore-warning
that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir," he asked the second man. "Hmm....let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I know of."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer "The blink of an eye. That's a very popular clich? for speed." He then turned to the third man who was contemplating his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on a light is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of light," he said. Turning to the fourth man, a Newfoundlander, he posed the question.
"Well, after hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is diarrhea," said the Newfie. "WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.
"Oh I can explain." said Newfie. "You see the other day I wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could think, blink or turn on the light, I shit my pants!"
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.