"Finding a good husband" joke
A woman who had been twice married and divorced was fed up. Her first husband was violent, and her second husband ran off with another woman.
Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy her sexually; so, she put an ad in the classifieds:
"Wanted: A good looking, single guy who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and is good in bed."
About a week later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door to find a man with no arms or legs on her front porch. "I'm here about your ad," he offers.
"You must be mistaken," she begins to reply.
"Let me explain," he interjects. "I can't beat you, because I don't have any arms. I can't run off, because I don't have any legs."
"But," she demands, "how do I know you're good in bed?"
"I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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