"Flying on a bad airline" joke

The engine`s being held on by duct tape.

You see the Gorilla from those old Samsonite commercials running loose up and down the aisles.

In-flight movie has "Ernest" in its title.

Pilot informs you that you`re at cruising altitude and he`s gonna put the top down.

Instead of Peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.

As you`re taking off, the stewardess mentions the phrase "Guest Pilot Program"

The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.

The stewardess asks you to join the Mile High Club..."she" has a beard and bigger arms than you!

Pilot asks if there is anyone else who wants a shot of Beam before he finishes the bottle.

You look down and see a copy of "Fixing a Plane for Dummies" by the mechanic`s feet!!!