"Following Directions" joke
Having not seen an elderly church member for a number of years, the priest decided to pay her a visit. After welcoming him and inviting him in, she went into the kitchen to prepare some tea. While he was waiting for her to return, he looked around the room and caught sight of a beautiful oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was half filled with water and had a condom floating in it.
Astonished and shocked, the priest turned away, but curiosity was getting to him. When the woman came back from the kitchen he asked her about it.
Quite enthusiastically, she explained, "While I was in town about a year ago, I found a package on the sidewalk. I picked it up and read the directions on the back. They said 'keep wet and put on your organ to prevent disease'. I do believe it works, afterall, I haven't had a cold all winter."
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