"Futuristic Motel" joke
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Noting that he needed a haircut before his meeting the following day, he called the desk clerk and asked if they had a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid we don't, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purpose."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, stuck his head in the opening, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. A few seconds later, the salesman pulled his head out and surveyed it in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever had.
Proceeding down the hall, he saw another machine with a sign that read: Manicures - 50 cents. "Why not," thought the salesman. He put his money in the slot, inserted his hands, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine he saw had a huge sign that read: This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - 50 cents.
Embarrassed, he looked both ways and saw no one around. He put in fifty cents, unzipped his pants and stuck his penis into the opening - with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for three weeks.
When the machine started to buzz, he let out a shriek of agony. Fifteen seconds later, the machine shut off. With trembling hands, the saleman managed to withdraw his penis which now had a button sewn on top.
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