"Good Predictions" joke

Adolf Hitler was very keen on the occult, so he went to a
fortune teller hoping that the woman could tell him how long he
would live.
After careful charting, she said, "I can't predict the exact date of
your death, but I do know that you will die on a Jewish holiday."
"And which holiday will this be?" he asked.
"It does not matter." she replied. "Any day that you die will be a
Jewish Holiday."

An Attorney was riding home in his limo and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.

His driver went to the two men and asked, sirs why are you eating grass? The first man replied, I have no money and must more...

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)

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