"Goofs conclusion" joke

FOREIGN GOOFS
"Bite the wax tadpole."
- Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."
- ad slogan "Pepsi Comes Alive" as originally translated into Chinese
"I am a jelly doughnut"
- English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall
"We pray for MacArthur's erection."
- sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when MacArthur was considering a run for President
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."
- from a guest directory at a Japanese hotel, 1991
"It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant."
- Perdue chicken ad, as mistranslated abroad
MISCELLANEOUS
"I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that."
- Evan Mecham, then governor of Arizona
"Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States."
- Frank Licht, then governor of Rhode Island, campaigning for McGovern in 1972
"Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologize for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused."
- correction printed in The Daily Californian
"Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"
- Jerry Coleman, Padres radio announcer
"I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now, have you all got your balls in your hands?"
- announcer of children's radio show "Life With Mother" to her audience
They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.
- Jerome "Dizzy" Dean
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history... this century's history... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Dan Quayle