"Grandma" joke


Harry is visiting his grandma. She complains about the high cost of living. "When I was a girl, you could go out with a shilling and come back home with a dozen eggs, two pints of milk, a pound of bacon, half a pound of tea and a fresh chicken."
"Yes," says Harry, "that's inflation for you."
"It's nothing to do with inflation," says grandma, "it's all them fucking CCTV cameras they have nowadays."

Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...

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A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...

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A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could more...

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My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.

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Why aren't chick's farts nearly as loud as men's?
Because they don't stop talking long enough to build up any back pressure.

How is a woman like a cop car?
They both make lots of noise to let you know they are coming.

What did Adam say when he more...

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