"Happy New Year" joke

READY-MADE RESOLUTIONS FOR INTERNETers - 1998
* Stop neglecting children; at least learn their names and birthdays
* Stop circulating the "Good Times Virus" and "Join the Crew" e-mail
* Read all of the mail from all of the lists I have subscribed to
* Limit my subscriptions of lists to a maximum of fifty
* Back-up 4 gig hard drive weekly; well, maybe at least monthly
* Not rush to any ftp site as soon as I hear of a new Beta
* Insist that all "ten best" lists be strictly limited to ten
* Not buy magazines with AOL disks just to get another 1. 44MB disk
* Answer Snail Mail with the same enthusiasm & promptness as e-mail
* Spend less than two hours a day on the Web; on new sites anyway
* Try the e-mail version of the Mrs. Fields cookie recipe
* Promise when I hear "Where do you want to go today?", I won't laugh
* Think of a password other than "password" to use on web sites
* Never "throw" another snowball via e-mail; at least not' til next
year