"Heavenly Voice Mail Service" joke

Most of us have now cultured to live with voice mail as a essential part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following response:
Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3
Please choose one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others
I am apologetic, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.
(If you receive a refusal response, please hang up and dial area code 999)
For reservations to heaven, please enter RAMESH followed by the numbers, 458.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
Our computers confirm that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency support, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.