"Helpdesk #1" joke

1. Compaq is considering changing the instruction "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packed in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to FAX anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to FAX a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor's screen and pressing the "Send" key.

5. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find the printer." The user had also turned the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't see the printer.

6. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in she responded, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. The foot pedal turned out to be the computer's mouse.

7. True story from a Novell NetWire System Operator...
Caller: "Hello is this tech support?"
Tech: "Yes it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting it fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, or at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trade mark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has' 4X' on it." (At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he was laughing too hard.) The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder.

8. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said put in the third disk -- I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realised that "Insert Disk 2" meant remove Disk 1 first.