"Her toes curl" joke
A guy in the navy is out on leave. He realizes that he has an hour left. He really wants to get a piece of ass before he goes back, so he runs to the nearest whore-house and procures himself a hooker. He goes up into her room and doesn't mess around, pulling his pants down and jumping on for the ride.
He starts humping her and he notices that every time he humps, her toes curl up! He figures he must be pretty good in the sack if can get a hooker's toes to curl.
He comes back the next day and asks for the same hooker. He goes a little bit earlier so he can talk to her and take his time. He goes up to the room and they both undress. Before getting in bed, the sailor says: "I got the impression that you were impressed with my love-making yesterday."
The hooker replies: "Oh? Why's that?" He says,"I noticed every time I humped you, your toes would curl up!" The Hooker says: "For your information, sailor-boy, that's what happens when you don't give a girl the time to remove her panty-hose!"
How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.