"Houses" joke

One day Peyton Manning dies and goes to heaven. Upon arrival, he's given a nice sized house, and a few of his trophies and some Colts apparel is set up around the house to honor his days as a QB.
One day, as he's walking along the golden streets, he hears the news that Ben Roethlisberger has died. As he looks up, he sees this ridiculously large mansion-a big, BIG mansion. The building is completely decked out and covered in Ben Roethlisberger banners and flags and paraphanelia. Peyton is a little put out, so he goes to see God.
"God," he says when he meets him, "I don't think this is very fair. I mean, I WAS the better Quarterback. Just look at my record and my stats! Do you think it's fair that he gets all that and I just get a little house?"
God simply smiles and chuckles a little before shaking his head. "Peyt," he says, "That's not Ben Roethlisberger's house. That's MY house."

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

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The final word on nutrition and health.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer more...

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