"I Won't Revise" joke
At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
Kept thinking I could never pass with no revision guide,
But then I spent so many nights, getting all the questions wrong,
And I grew strong,
And I learned I could scrape along,
I won't look back, to any place,
When I can swallow 15 cans and get completely off my face,
I would have revised by the clock,
I would have had no spare time free,
If I'd thought for just one second my exams would bother me,
So all my notes, are on the floor,
Don't even matter... that there's no rock night anymore...
Weren't you the one,
Who tried to get me to revise?
You think I'd crumble? You think I'd work towards the skies?
Oh no, not I!
I won't revise! BR> Unless I die of beer stains, I know I'll stay alive,
Though my money's at an end,
I've my overdraft to spend,
I won't revise,
I won't revise!
It took all the strength I had, not to act the part,
But in the end my real revision didn't even start.
I used to sit at home at night, feeling guilty to myself,
I used to try,
But now I hold my head up high,
And you see me! Somebody new!
I'm not that mixed up weird bloke who wants a good 2: 2
So if you feel like dropping in, chances are that I'll be free,
Coz I've done sod all revision, and I'm failing my degree,
Oh no, not I!
I won't revise,
I think that I may scrape a third, but I could be telling lies!
Let the lecturers all storm,
My bed's far too nice and warm,
I won't revise,
I won't revise,
oh dear!
A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting our bombers and more...
During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One
day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor,
and the third was an engineer.
The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, more...
The professor of a European history class at a very conservative Baptist college invited a local World War I "Ace" pilot to lecture to his class about the air war during WWI.
The very weathered-looking old man began his lecture by saying, "I'll never forget more...
There was a fundraising event being held in the local RSA by the local Women's Auxiliary, and the organisers had arranged for Ireland's most decorated WWII pilot to speak to the assembled ladies.
He started telling the story of a mission over France and how they were more...
A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the
air force. (Joke best delivered with a good thick accent)
"In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong
air force. I remember, more...