"I wonder why a gynecologist leaves" joke

Procrastination is like masturbation...
Sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write more...

Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.

A few choice 1-Liners.


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
I drive more...