"If I had five coconuts and I gave " joke
If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left? I don't know. Why not? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
A Catholic priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were discussing sin, and the Methodist asked, "Tell me, guys, have you ever sinned and broken the laws of your religion?"
"I must admit," responded the Rabbi, "I was always very very curious about more...