"If You Love Someone" joke

THIS DOESN'T ONLY APPLY TO FEMALES... ALSO APPLY TO MALES!!!
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ORIGINAL VERSION:
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she's never was....
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HERE ARE THE NEW VERSIONS:
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Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was. ..
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Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
Don't worry, she will come back.
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Analyst:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
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Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
but get someone to follow her
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Logician:
If you love someone,
...
are you sure you love that someone?
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Go-getter:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, go get her!
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Hunter:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
Don't wait till she comes back, go hunt her down!
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Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she doesn't comes back within some stipulated time limit, forget
her.
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Patient:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back.
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Playful:
If you love someone,
Set her free. ..
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again,
repeat until she doesn't come back
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C++ Programmer:
if(you->love(m_she))
m_she->free();
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
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P. S.: You are free to make a gender reversal.