"If men wrote the rules" joke
IF MEN WROTE THE RULES
1.Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
2.If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
3.If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
4.It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
5.Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?
6.Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
7.You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.
8.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
9.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
10.Women who wear Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
11.When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
12.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.