"If you have trouble getting your children's attent..." joke

If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
You can keep those other breeds of dogs. I got myself a laborer recliner.
I called the suicide hot line yesterday and when I told him how much money I lost in the market, he told me to just go ahead.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder.
Wouldn't it be great if there was as an "edit undo" button in life?
If you are incompetent, don't worry. Just think, in a few years you'll be in upper management!
I thought that it was pretty cool when I married Miss Wright; that is until I found out that her first name was Always!
No one is ever totally useless. They can always serve as a bad example.
I'm 39 years old, and I see absolutely no advantage to growing up!
I just checked a height/weight chart and f