"I'm Just Not A Scholar" joke

CLERK: Please repeat after me; "I swear by Almighty God,"
WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give,"
WITNESS: That's right.
CLERK: Repeat it.
WITNESS: "Repeat it."
CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
WITNESS: What you said when?
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give,"
WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give,"
CLERK: "Shall be the truth, and,"
WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."
CLERK: Say: "Nothing."
WITNESS: Okay.
(Witness remains silent.)
CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth."
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..?"
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Well? Do so.
WITNESS: You're confusing me.
CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
WITNESS: Is that all?
CLERK: Yes.
WITNESS: Okay. I understand.
CLERK: Then say it.
WITNESS: What?
CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.
CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The", "Truth".
WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now? "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
CLERK: Thank you.
WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.