"Important Definitions" joke

Dating--the process of spending emormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like now, but will learn to like a lot less.
Attraction--the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
Love at First Sight--what occurs when two extremely horny people meet.
Birth Control--avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as taking a pill, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.
Easy--a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
Eye Contact--a method utilized by a single woman to commmunicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
Friend--a member of the opposite sex who is unattractive or has some other flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.
Indifference--a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
Interesting--a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.
Irritating Habits--what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.
Law of Relationships--the less you care about a given man, the harder he is to get rid of.
Law of Relativity--how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.
Nymphomaniac--a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.