"In the Bus... VERY TRUE STORY!!!" joke
There was a boy named Brandon that went to school one regular school day. He asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no because he was not allowed to go during class, so he had to hold it in. It was the end of the day, and he really had to make a poopie, but all the bus kids had to get inside the bus. Brandon REALLY had to go, so he had no other choice but to poop right where his bus seat was!!! At first, no one had noticed the stench, but a few minutes later THE WHOLE ENTIRE BUS SMELLED LIKE FRESH POOP!!! He was very embarrased, and all the other kids were making fun of him. When the bus stopped at his house, the bus driver had told his mother(who was waiting for him at the doorstep)all about the poop incident. The mother was embarrased, and Brandon never wanted to go to school again(although he did have to)!
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when.... You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. The mosquitoes have landing lights. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car. You have 10 favourite recipes more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Quasimodo, the bell-ringer for the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, goes to the cardinal. "Cardinal, I'm getting pretty old and I'd like to retire, and live the rest of my life peacefully." The cardinal says, "That's fine Quasi, we'll just let the town crier know so more...
A trucker picks up a hitchhiker who climbs up in the cab and notices a monkey on the dashboard.
After a few miles, he asks the driver what the monkey is for.
The driver says "I'll show you," and with that he hits the monkey with the back of his hand, sending more...