"Inner Peace" joke

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all
could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard
on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've
started."So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't
finished, so, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a
bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a
bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac
and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake,
some saltines and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those
you feel are in need of inner peace.