"It is written" joke

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson brought the house down.
Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
A. In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel and the prodigal son came in last.
Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were definitely put out.
Q. What is one of the first things Adam and Eve did after they were kicked but?
A. They raised a little Cain.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children to explain why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. "Your mother ate us out of house and home."
Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?
A. Turn right and go straight.
Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most proficient lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses broke all ten commandments at once.
Q. Where is the first tennis match in the Bible?
A. Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Q. Where is the first recorded Biblical case of constipation?
A. In Kings where it says that David sat on the throne for forty years.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua was the son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A. He only had two worms!
Q. How do we know they didn't play cards in the ark?
A. Because Noah sat on the deck.