"It seems that Pat, who was 88 had been feelin` po..." joke
It seems that Pat, who was 88 had been feelin` poorly for the past few months. One day his son Seamus convinced him to go see the doctor. After a complete exam, the doctor brought Pat and Seamus into his office. "I`ve got bad news for Pat, your heart`s near given out and you`ve only two months to live." Pat was stunned but after a few minutes he turns to his son and says,"I`ve had a good long life and if the Lord wants me then I`ve no complaints." "Let`s be off to the Pub where I`m after havin` a pint with me friends." Arriving at the pub a few of his cronies spy Pat "Ah Patty how are you feelin` today", says one. "Not good Mike, I`ve been to the doctors and he says I`ve two months to live." "What a shame," says Mike, "and what`s ailin ya"? "The doctor says I have the aids." After a few moments Seamus gets his irish father alone and says, "Da, it`s not aids that ya have, it`s a heart condition." "Sure don`t I know that, I just don`t want them old buggers trying to sleep with your Ma when I`m gone."
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!