"I've Got Everything I Need" joke
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph, with the husband behind the wheel. His wife calmly looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 12 years, but I want a divorce."
The husband refrains from saying anything, but slowly increases his speed to 60 mph.
"It's no good trying to talk me out of it either," she says. "I've been having an affair with your best friend and he's a much better lover than you."
Again the husband remains quiet and just speeds up as he clenches his hands on the wheel.
"I want the house," she says. Again the husband speeds up and is now doing 70 mph.
"I also want the kids," she continues. The husband just keeps increasing his speed until he's up to 80 mph.
"Plus," she says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards." The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she asks, "Is there anything you want?"
"Nope," he replies, "I've got everything I need right here."
"Oh? What's that?" she asks.
"I've got the airbag!" he replies, just before they hit the wall at 90 mph.
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