"Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris swims through l..." joke

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

- Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo.
- Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came more...

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..