"Jewish Pet" joke
A Nice Jewish Dog
A guy gets a new dog, a nice Jewish dog. So he calls him Irving.
He can't
wait to show him off to his neighbor, so when the neighbor
finally comes
over, the guy calls Irving into the house, bragging about how
smart he is.
The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his
master, tail
wagging excitedly, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright
with
anticipation.
The guy points to the newspaper by the door and commands "Okay,
Irving,
Fetch!"
Immediately, the dog climbs on to the couch and sits, his tail
wagging
furiously. Then all of a sudden, he stops. His doggie smile
disappears. He
starts to frown and puts on a sour face.
Looking up at his master, he whines, "You think this is easy,
wagging my
tail all the time? Oy... This constant wagging of the tail puts
me in
such pain, you should only know! And you think it's easy eating
that dreck
you call designer dog food. Forget it...it's too salty and it
gives me
gas. And also the runs, but what do you care? Why don't you try
it if you
think it's so good? You try it. Dreck I say! Then you push me
out the door
to take care of my business, twice a day. It's disgusting I tell
you! And
when was the last time you took me for a nice long walk? I can't
remember
when!"
The neighbor is absolutely amazed... stunned. In astonishment,
he says,
"I can't believe it. Irving can speak. Your dog actually talks.
Here he is
sitting on the sofa talking to us."
"I know, I know." says the owner. "He's not yet fully trained
yet. He
thought I said, 'Kvetch'."
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