"Job Applicants" joke

Julius Caesar:
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.
Jesse James:
I can list among my experience and skills:
leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.
Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticized,
but I'd like to think of myself as a people person.
Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.
Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostile takeover.
Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.
Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.
Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing.
On my last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.
Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?
Lady Godiva:
What do mean, this isn't' business casual'?
Elvis:
My last boss and I. .. say, are you going to eat those fries?