"K'ung-Fu-tzu" joke

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do.
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.