"Limerick is a lady" joke

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
The Bishop was quicker
and thicker and slicker,
and two inches longer than you.
***
There was a young vampire called mable,
whose periods were always quite stable,
at every full moon
she took out a spoon,
and drank herself under the table.
***
There was a young plumber from Lee,
who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
she said stop your plumbing,
I think someones coming,
said the plumber still plumbing "its me"!
***
A kinky young girl from Coleshill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina,
in North Carolina,
and bits of her tits in Brazil.
***
There was a young man from Pitlocherie,
making love to his girl in the rockery,
she said look you've cum,
all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery.
***
There was a young lassie from Morton,
who had one long tit and one short 'en,
on top of all that,
a great hairy twat,
and a fart like a six fifty Norton.
***
There was a young man from Nantucket,
Who's appendage was so long he could suck it,
He was heard to allude,
if I may be so crude,
If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it.