"Little too late" joke
A lovely woman decided to visit a penthouse restaurant. So she rode the elevator to the top floor of the building. She had a drink at the bar and then decided to get some fresh air, so she walked out on the balcony. She got too close to the railing and fell over the side.
As she was falling about thirteen floors, a man was standing on the balcony below. He reached out his arms and engulfed her, pulling her to his chest. He asked, "Do you f***?" She answered, of course not. I'm not a slut!" The man opened his arms and said, "Sorry."
As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony, and he reached out, grabbed her in his arms, pulled her to his chest and asked, "Do you suck?" She answered, "Of course not. what kind of a girl do you think I am?" The man opened his arms, and said, "Sorry."
As she had fallen another thirteen floors, another man was standing on a balcony. He reached out, engulfed her with his arms, and pulled her to his chest. Before he had a chance to say anything, she says, "Look, I f***, I suck, and I'll do anything else you want!" He opens his arms and says, "You slut!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A greenhorn visiting Alaska was talking to two old sourdoughs. They informed him he was a cheechako. The greenhorn asked how he could become a sourdough.
The two sourdoughs winked at each other, and told him he had to do three things. First, he had to pee in the Yukon River. more...
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.