"Lot of jokes" joke

Doctor: your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you.
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!!
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives.
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.
Santa, "I am a proud father. My son is in medical college."
Banta, "What is he studying?"
Santa, "He's not studying, they are studying him!"
Two men are discussing their lives. One says, "I'm getting married. I'm tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and No clothes to wear."
The other one says, "I'm getting divorced for the same reasons."
At a hospital looking through the window at the newly arrived babies a father says, "Kitchy kitchy koo. Look, she smiled! Isn't she adorable?"
His friend says, "But your kid didn't smile."
The father replies, "I was talking about the nurse"
Women are confusing... Before marriage they expect a man, after marriage they suspect a man, after he dies they respect the man.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
Women are like computers as soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
Santa to his girlfriend: Darling, am I the first man you ever kissed?
Girlfriend: Of course, you are the first man I've ever kissed!
Santa: Why?
Girlfriend: Do all men ask the same silly question?
On the first day of marriage, the husband is treated like god, after that the letters reversed.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook..... But the law allows only one wife.
Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.