"Man Bashing" joke

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
: Close the door.
When do you care for a man's company?
: When he owns it.
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
: Three, if you slice them very thinly.
Why do men get married?
: So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger
in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
: Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
: So men can remember them.
What did God say after creating man?
: I must be able to do better than that.
What did God say after she made Eve?
:"Practice makes perfect."
What's the difference between men and government
bonds?
: Bonds mature.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
: They're married.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
: So they can find their way back to the house.
Why are married women heavier than single women?
: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed
and go to the fridge.
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his
brainpower?
: A widower.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?"
: God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?
: He wouldn't ask for directions.